Leaving Russia

Mongolia-Russia Border



One of Russia's most difficult challenges is leaving the country. With strict visa regulations and sometimes a period of days required to travel to border crossings, travellers must plan their exit carefully.

Man love, old-fashioned manners, and generosity will be missed. The word, Nyet, will not be.

Exiting Russia: 2.5 hours.
Entering Mongolia: 2o minutes.

One word: Russia.

Full marks

Irkutsk, Russia

English translations are a guaranteed pleasure of travel. However, Russia has a special skill for taking already-translated words and then re-translating back into Romanised spelling. One of my favourite examples of this was the ballet production of Romeo and Julietta, based on the Bill Shakespeare play of the same name.

Among all this Romanisation chaos, Irkutsk has taken the cake. The town’s main drag is Karl Marks Street. What would Lennon have said?

One word: Marksists?

The neighbour of the beast

Yekaterinburg, Russia

After 24 grueling hours on a train, we were salivating over the prospect of a shower and a clean set of clothes. We arrived in Yekaterinburg, the site of Tsar Nicholas II's last stand, just after midnight.

Online accommodation booking in Russia is in its infancy. Perhaps more accurately, English online booking is in its infancy. In any case, the choice of hotel is sometimes straight-forward.

The limited choice of hotels in Yekaterinburg led us to booking at the Bolshoy. I would strongly recommend staying anywhere but this hotel. We dragged ourselves up the stairs only to discover a shoebox of a room sans toilet and shower. Although there was a solitary communal toilet to service the entire floor, there was no shower.

After much gnashing of teeth, directed at the hotel's reception, I concluded that the tsar was not murdered here after all; he died of shock on arrival at this hotel in Yekaterinburg.

One word: Hell.

Glorious jeans

Kazan, Russia

A Russian blog that fails to mention denim is not really a Russian blog at all.

In the West, jeans are associated with casual dress, dressing down, or even (at a stretch) the working class. In Russia, however, denim represents wealth, modernity, style, and (don't tell anybody) America.

It is not uncommon to catch an eye-full of an ensemble including jeans, jacket, hat and handbag; each in an identical wash of denim in a display of affluence.

Somebody needs to tell these aspiring fashionistas that, sometimes, more is...

One word: Less!

Grand central (and not so central) stations

Moscow, Russia

Is it a ballroom? Is it a palace? No, it's a Moscow subway station. To serve a secondary purpose as bomb shelters, stations in Moscow were built hundreds of metres below ground-level. However, commuters are rewarded for the long, long, long escalator ride down with the unique designs of Moscow's Metro stations.

While the station pictured looks to be for first class passengers only, other stations celebrate the glories of revolution, the proletariat, or just a good old-fashioned cult (Lenin). Alas, such architecture can be found solely in subterranean Moscow.

One word: Façade.

It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

Moscow, Russia

They say that Moscow is a country within a country. But there's more: within Moscow itself there is often an era within an era within an era.

Standing inside the Kremlin, it is impossible not to notice the juxtaposition of the Kremlin tower, the Soviet star, and the gigantic Mercedes Benz logo, which is perched on a building in the background.

It is combination that defies logic but, in Russia, it is totally natural.

One word: incongruous.

Spasiba (thank you)

Russia

If you were on a Russian train, would you know where the hot water urn was? Would you know the toilet protocol? How about understanding the Russian-language timetable?

As railway novices we were confronted with scores of such mini-challenges on our journey from St. Petersburg to Murmansk. To the lovely railway staff who guided us through this minefield, we left this note (right) and some perfume as a token of our eternal thanks.

One word: Grateful.

Rising to the occasion

St. Petersburg, Russia

It was with skepticism that we journeyed to the supermarket in search of a loaf of bread.

Visions from the ‘80s clouded my mind. All I could think of was massive queues in the snow and row after row of empty shelves. I feared that this was to be a brutal Russian rite of passage.

My fears proved to be unfounded: a wide selection of bread provided for a fine lunch.

One word: Fed.

Nice day for a swim

St. Petersburg, Russia

As the temperature nudged 20 degrees Celsius, hundreds of people stripped off on the banks of St. Petersburg’s canals outside the walls of the Peter and Paul Fortress. An insane few were even enjoying a dip in the water.

It is with great relief that I can report that all swimmers and sunbathers survived the filth of the water and the ever so modest temperatures.

One word: Darwin.

Exclamation marks the spot!!!!!!!!!

Russia

You know you’re approaching the Russian border when you spot the hundreds of exclamation marks in the distance.

It seems that the most mundane of signs require the stress of not one, but several of these punctuation marks that are all but taboo in English.

I shudder to think of the number of exclamation marks used in Russian emails.

One word: Noted!!!!!

And the winner is...Tallinn (by a claw)

Tallinn, Estonia

Are you ready to rumble? Who will triumph in Old Tallinn Vs Old Riga Vs Old Vilnius in the battle of the Baltics?

The judges have consulted, and the title of Best Old Town Quarters in the Baltic Region goes to...Tallinn.

Well preserved, clean, and (mostly) sleeze-free, Old Tallinn is a pleasure to explore.

One word: Charmed.

Can’t blog. Eating.

Riga, Latvia

Pancakes are one the world’s best-known sources of satisfaction and Riga is the world’s best source of pancakes.

I love Riga because I love pancakes.

One word: Addicted.

Following the flock

Siouliai, Lithuania

Every now and then, something gets taken way too far and the result is completely awesome. This was one of those times.

The Hill of Crosses is literally that, with between 200,000 and 400,000 crucifixes planted on a tiny hill. With more being added every day, who knows where it will end?

One word: Jesus.

Lock it in, Eddie

Vilnius, Lithuania

After a day in Vilnius, the most puzzling question was, “Why the locks?”

Every bridge we had crossed was laden with dozens of locks, but with no explanation.

It all became clear on what we now call “wedding Saturday”, a day in which it seemed half of Vilnius was attending a wedding. Walking into town, we witnessed a charming ritual at our local bridge. Bride and groom attached a single lock to the bridge, before ceremoniously throwing the key into the stream, presumably never to be retrieved.

One word: Romantic.

The real thing

Minsk, Belarus

Quick quiz: the coke advertisement pictured, right, appeared in a capital city in which decade?

A) 1950s
B) 1970s
C) 2000s

Correct answer: C.

One word: Recycled.

Meet you at the McDonald’s on Lenin Boulevard?

Minsk, Belarus

A co-incidence or a “told you so” moment? The biggest McDonald’s in Minsk stands proudly on Lenin Boulevard. It was a photograph too delicious to miss.

One word: Triumphant.

Cyrillic nails me

Minsk, Belarus

Picture this. You arrive in Minsk on a bus at 7:00am. Wearily, you unfurl your English-language map only to discover that you don’t even know the name of the bus station or what street it is on because the local language has a Cyrillic alphabet. Reading has become impossible and you are unable to even match street signs to the map.

You cast your mind back to high school maths. Pis, Fis, Landas were all there, but you don’t recall the backwards R. What sound does that make?

One word: Illiterate.

Fashion victims

Riga, Latvia

Welcome to the land that was once part of the USSR. There are no Mao suits to be seen, but the fashion doesn't get much better. To my horror, both sexes are enthusiastically embracing the matching track suit and the all-denim suit. A first impression to last.

One word: Misguided.